8.18.2013
10
再次相聚，每個人的笑容裡多了故事，故事讓我們都變得有些不一樣，但依然有著熟悉的親切，一句招牌口頭禪、一個只有我們懂的笑話......念舊或許無法帶我向前，但過去是這樣美好，為什麼要拚命往前？我們都在和時間賽跑，沒有選擇。但是面對這場毫無勝算的競賽，有時候我真的只想停下來看看周遭的世界，回想以前的故事。班遊的這二天，時間的腳步依舊，但其中多了過去的熟悉感，讓我真心盼望有些東西能永遠，特別是當生活中有太多我們無法控制的變化在發生，每天每天。陷入回憶是珍貴的，因為我永遠無法知道現在腦海中浮現的記憶畫面是否會是在下一秒隨著時間被沖淡而消失的小小遺憾。昨夜在民宿的真心話聊天，有一天也會像似乎再也約不成的歡樂羽球團吧？每個人都在寫他們的故事。這樣的情景是好事，可是我說服不了心裡那空空的失落感。只能不斷告訴自己，我要用力記得每一天。
8.08.2013
9
Just finished the book "The Defining Decade -- Why your twenties matter and how to make the most of them now".
Lots of thoughts in my mind and I think it's going to take a while for me to sort things out.
I once though that having a few close friends is more important than making many friends, but it turns out that having abundant weak ties is quite important as well. I once believed that meeting the right girl and getting married is something you can't plan ahead, but after reading some cases that the author had in her therapy sessions, I think otherwise.
I had never thought about things too far away in the future, but those things aren't actually distant. Go to graduate school, get a job and start my career, travel a lot, meet someone and get married......these are all probably going to (or should) happen in ten years. Shockingly surprised, I suddenly realized that my twenties are not something I can waste at all.
Getting a job sounds like something in the future, but it's not. The time I spent in NLSC as an intern serves as an alarm, showing me that there are still so many things for me to learn before I am ready. I am twenty, and I am certainly not a high school kid any more. "Identity crisis may still bothers you, but getting yourself some identity credits is something you should start thinking about." Twenties are like being in the shadow of a huge tree. People enjoy staying in the shadow and do whatever they like, not caring about the time. As the sun goes, the shadow moves away so quickly that we suddenly are exposed to the sunlight, and the real world outside. Getting ready, in all possible ways, is what people have to start planning for in their twenties.
Seldom do I think about life after my twenties. What would that be? How will my thirties, or even forties, look like? When contemplating these questions, I have this total blank in my mind which terrifies me a lot. So that’s the problem here. I don’t see or plan things after my twenties. I have this notion in my mind that my twenties should be full of adventures and fun memories. After that, there’s nothing. No scenario, no thought, no nothing. Some say being too goal-oriented may not be good, but how can I find the motivation I need or the direction I want to set foot on if I can’t picture my life by the end of my twenties?
We always want a happy ending. Endings like those we’ve read in the novels. But happy endings don't just show up when the time comes. Preparation is needed. You must be more future-oriented. You can't write your life story from the last sentence to the beginning. Maybe you can when writing a novel, but that’s not how things work in real life.
Being a dreamer is a teenager thing. But in our twenties, it’s time to be a go-getter.
Time to draw my own unique picture in my mind.
7.26.2013
8
Ever since I came back from Iceland, I drink.
Wait, not like "a lot", you know, it's just that I won't be drunk or feeling dizzy after merely a glass of beer. Although I nearly passed out in a beautiful bar in Reykjavik after finishing the third glass of beer that night, I started to enjoy the refreshing taste of this golden-color drink. Big thanks to Damian and Gabor for saving me when I almost fell down unconsciously in the English Bar, we should meet sometime again in...I don't know, Taiwan? XD
Anyway, this summer has been a little bit boring so far. I often think about the wonderful three weeks I spent in Seltun and Reykjavik or the adventure in Nepal, or the trip two years ago with my family to the east coast of the US. More often, you will see me spending time reading articles on backpackers.com.tw . It's not that I don't like Taiwan. Actually, after those experiences I've had in different places in the world, I'm starting to love this flourishing small island more and more as time goes on. The streets, the people, the food, the cities and mountains...there is so much to offer in this country!
It's just that...I feel like something is missing in my life recently. I wake up. I go to work. I eat. I go home. Although this is just an internship which lasts only one month, how would I know if my jobs in the future will be more interesting? Or this is it? This is the ultimate look of my life?
This scares me so much. Shouldn't I be seeing opportunities and potential when I think of the future? I am only twenty and they say twenties should be the most influential decade in one's life. But when I look at those who are currently in their twenties, I don't see the shimmering lights in their eyes. I see people starting to work in the government or companies just like our parents. This frightens me. So this is my life for the next 30 years? I know I might be exaggerating my worries a little bit, but this feeling is real, and the reality is gradually taking control of my life.
So when I feel like running away to some remote places for some time, it is not the place I live that I want to distance myself from. It is the frustration of reality that I want to get rid of. When traveling, I can finally take full control of myself. I walk with my own feet. I decide what I want to do and where I want to go every day. New things happen everywhere. Meeting people in hostels is even more intriguing. It is one of the several places where you get to see the shimmering lights in everyone's eyes. The optimistic atmosphere is why I always enjoy my time chatting with travelers worldwide.
But it is not what's happening at the moment. I am sitting in the office and people are working on land surveying issues from 8 to 17 daily. All I can do now is check flight tickets on Skyscanner and read through reviews on Lonely Planet and imagine what my next adventure would be like.
Wait, not like "a lot", you know, it's just that I won't be drunk or feeling dizzy after merely a glass of beer. Although I nearly passed out in a beautiful bar in Reykjavik after finishing the third glass of beer that night, I started to enjoy the refreshing taste of this golden-color drink. Big thanks to Damian and Gabor for saving me when I almost fell down unconsciously in the English Bar, we should meet sometime again in...I don't know, Taiwan? XD
Anyway, this summer has been a little bit boring so far. I often think about the wonderful three weeks I spent in Seltun and Reykjavik or the adventure in Nepal, or the trip two years ago with my family to the east coast of the US. More often, you will see me spending time reading articles on backpackers.com.tw . It's not that I don't like Taiwan. Actually, after those experiences I've had in different places in the world, I'm starting to love this flourishing small island more and more as time goes on. The streets, the people, the food, the cities and mountains...there is so much to offer in this country!
It's just that...I feel like something is missing in my life recently. I wake up. I go to work. I eat. I go home. Although this is just an internship which lasts only one month, how would I know if my jobs in the future will be more interesting? Or this is it? This is the ultimate look of my life?
This scares me so much. Shouldn't I be seeing opportunities and potential when I think of the future? I am only twenty and they say twenties should be the most influential decade in one's life. But when I look at those who are currently in their twenties, I don't see the shimmering lights in their eyes. I see people starting to work in the government or companies just like our parents. This frightens me. So this is my life for the next 30 years? I know I might be exaggerating my worries a little bit, but this feeling is real, and the reality is gradually taking control of my life.
So when I feel like running away to some remote places for some time, it is not the place I live that I want to distance myself from. It is the frustration of reality that I want to get rid of. When traveling, I can finally take full control of myself. I walk with my own feet. I decide what I want to do and where I want to go every day. New things happen everywhere. Meeting people in hostels is even more intriguing. It is one of the several places where you get to see the shimmering lights in everyone's eyes. The optimistic atmosphere is why I always enjoy my time chatting with travelers worldwide.
But it is not what's happening at the moment. I am sitting in the office and people are working on land surveying issues from 8 to 17 daily. All I can do now is check flight tickets on Skyscanner and read through reviews on Lonely Planet and imagine what my next adventure would be like.
7.19.2013
7
前幾天，因為一位記者想要訪問一些關於探索課程的感想及回顧，我回到了光武。
印象中我一直是三不五時會在校園中閒晃的小孩，沒想到走進校門的剎那，卻是好久不見的似曾相識。綜合大樓前的小圓桌，實驗室樓下的幾輛單車，有些東西，有些記憶，真的開始像是上了一層微微模糊的漆。記憶中的事物仍在它原先的位置，漆上的色彩卻似一種不情願的陌生。陌生或許是互相的，但不情願是我自己的，而我也不再是那個常常在校園中閒晃的小孩了。
訪問的內容雖然已經是五年前的那場冒險，曾經數次分享的經驗讓我仍還算流暢的完成了訪問。訪問的時間其實比預期的短上不少，但我也清楚知道，再詳細的記錄仍比不上親身體會的深刻。而真正讓我難忘的，是與主任的談話。
記憶中，上一次「成群結隊」走進總務處找「熊」的場景已是多年前。坐在只有我一人的沙發上，與主任討論著大學的生活和未來的規劃，話題同時也圍繞在310的同學之間。他交了女朋友，她要去哪裡交換，他要登向哪座高山......依然看得見每位同學的個性在一件件事蹟中的熟悉感讓人不禁會心一笑，同時又在心中驚嘆自FB1之後，每個人的轉變與成長。有些人正準備大步走向世界，有些人則剛從世界走回台灣。無論駐足何處，又將走向何方，想像著背後一個個精彩的故事，那是一種很大的鼓舞，一個無形的力量，能推著你繼續向前。
離開前，在綜合大樓的轉角遇見幾位學弟妹在製做FB3.5的旗幟，主任向他們介紹：「這是你們FB1的學長...」
腦中靈光一閃，我順著接口：「白雪公主」
大家都笑了。
誰知道，我還曾經一度非常討厭這綽號呢！
印象中我一直是三不五時會在校園中閒晃的小孩，沒想到走進校門的剎那，卻是好久不見的似曾相識。綜合大樓前的小圓桌，實驗室樓下的幾輛單車，有些東西，有些記憶，真的開始像是上了一層微微模糊的漆。記憶中的事物仍在它原先的位置，漆上的色彩卻似一種不情願的陌生。陌生或許是互相的，但不情願是我自己的，而我也不再是那個常常在校園中閒晃的小孩了。
訪問的內容雖然已經是五年前的那場冒險，曾經數次分享的經驗讓我仍還算流暢的完成了訪問。訪問的時間其實比預期的短上不少，但我也清楚知道，再詳細的記錄仍比不上親身體會的深刻。而真正讓我難忘的，是與主任的談話。
記憶中，上一次「成群結隊」走進總務處找「熊」的場景已是多年前。坐在只有我一人的沙發上，與主任討論著大學的生活和未來的規劃，話題同時也圍繞在310的同學之間。他交了女朋友，她要去哪裡交換，他要登向哪座高山......依然看得見每位同學的個性在一件件事蹟中的熟悉感讓人不禁會心一笑，同時又在心中驚嘆自FB1之後，每個人的轉變與成長。有些人正準備大步走向世界，有些人則剛從世界走回台灣。無論駐足何處，又將走向何方，想像著背後一個個精彩的故事，那是一種很大的鼓舞，一個無形的力量，能推著你繼續向前。
離開前，在綜合大樓的轉角遇見幾位學弟妹在製做FB3.5的旗幟，主任向他們介紹：「這是你們FB1的學長...」
腦中靈光一閃，我順著接口：「白雪公主」
大家都笑了。
誰知道，我還曾經一度非常討厭這綽號呢！
4.11.2013
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